Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Inwardly Renewed Day by Day

Oh, friends. What an absolutely insane time! It's been a while since I've blogged, and sooo much has happened. Settle back for a long update...

First of all: grandparents. Last Wed, I got an e-mail from my dad telling me that my grandma on the other side, my mom's mom, was flown into the hospital in Indy because she had a ruptured aorta. After running tests, they decided not to do surgery but to adjust her meds and let her body try to heal itself. The risk is that they had to take her off the blood thinners so to slow her bleeding, but she was on them to prevent clots in her heart and the like. Last I heard she was doing well and in good spirits. Meanwhile, my grandpa is still in the hospital in Chicago. It turns out his "flu" was a twisted colon. Thankfully they were able to treat that, but now he has pneumonia. He is just old and everything is compounding. I was able to call during his 90th birthday party and talk to him. He was a little overwhelmed because there were 25 people trying to squeeze into his hospital room and it was super loud, but he was excited to get to see everyone, including my cousin Katie's new baby, Henri.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (I love saying things like that--"home on the range," etc--cowboy expressions are now a part of real life), the New Year's week has been crazy-busy. We got a new round of guests, all of whom were really enjoyable this time. None of the crazy high-maintenance stories like last time. Sunday the 30th--a freezing, windy, snowy day. We were serving lunch when suddenly all the lights blinked off. Power lines were down. We finished lunch as best as we could, but of course none of the kitchen equipment was working, and the kitchen guys were freaking out. The guests were rockstars, though--they said they were perfectly happy to eat whatever was available, and some even ordered peanut butter and jelly to make it easier on us. Thankfully, all the cabins have a wood burning stove, so no one froze to death. Dinner was actually super fun that night. The guys worked their tails off in the kitchen and cooked on propane burners and Dutch ovens, and pulled off pan-seared chicken, Dutch oven biscuits, salad and dessert. They got a standing ovation from the guests, and well-deserved. We served dinner by candlelight and propane lanterns. Charissa stood and held a flashlight over the buffet line. That night was the indoor campfire, which is always fun. People sing and recite poetry, and it was just enhanced by the camp feel of the fire and lanterns. Afterwards Dace passed out sleeping bags and blankets, and Ben made sure there was a good fire in all the cabins. The plan was for girl staff to sleep in Hinman, the hang-out center, since none of the girls have fireplaces, and the guys to sleep in Hole In the Wall, the only guys' housing that does have a stove. The servers finished really late, though, so Charissa and I headed over to Ben and Holly's house to save some room in Hinman. We actually did not end up sleeping there, though. We ended up talking to Holly until 12:40 am. Holly is my favorite person here. She is one of the sweetest, funnest, most loving and caring women I've ever met. She asked me how I'd been doing since coming to the ranch, and I found myself spilling my guts to her. Usually it takes me a while to open up to people, but I never doubted that I was perfectly safe with Holly. By the end of the evening I was crying and pouring out my heart. I told her that the hardest thing about being here is that I have no spiritual support, and leaving a great church and life group and coming to a place where I'm totally dependent on myself for my personal walk and have no fellowship has been beyond hard. She said that she and Ben are planning on starting a Bible study once the craziness of the holiday season dies down, and offered to let us talk with her and pray with her any time we need it. This was exactly what I've been needing. It was so relieving to talk to someone who truly cared and genuinely listened. I feel like a weight has been lifted.

While we were having this great conversation with Holly, the lights came back on! We were excited to have the power restored. Then Charissa and I realized that with the dishwasher out of commission all day, we had nothing to set the tables with the next day, and even worse, the guys had no pots or dishes to cook with. So, clad in our pajamas, we went back to the lodge to knock out the mountain of cookery and utensils. We ended up being there from 1-5 am, but we actually had a lot of fun. The next morning Rob was so thrilled and everyone thanked us and gave us hugs. The way we looked at it was that this our home right now, and if the dishwasher went out at home, we wouldn't say "That's not my job" or "I didn't make this mess," we would just wash the dishes. Let no one say that servers never wash dishes and don't understand!

New Year's eve was a little crazy. We served a six-course wine paired meal, with wine and champagne with dessert, too. By the time of the countdown, the guests were feeling pretty good. Some of the servers got big wet kisses from really "happy" guests (thankfully not me). Afterwards Matt had a party at his place, but I didn't stay very long. I just wanted to go to sleep.

Today is my day off, so I got to sleep in until 10:30 (amazing!), and afterwards I went horseback riding with Hallie, one of the new housekeepers and our new bunkhouse roommate. It was really fun. It was such a beautiful sunny day, and it was wonderful to get outside for a while. I rode a pretty white horse named Sparky. I kind of felt like it was a joke, though--we tagged along with a guest ride, and the horses knew exactly where to go without me directing them. They say it's important to let a horse know who's dominant and be in control, but I'm pretty sure that horse was smarter than me, and if it decided to run away, there's not much I could do about it. Saturday, Caleb is going to take Charissa and I out riding, and that will be good because he can tell us what to do instead of just bouncing around like a sack of potatoes.

The other day, when Charissa was complaining about Rob being moody, Ben quoted a verse that really stuck with me: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Cor 4:17-18). I've been reading 2 Corinthians 4, and the whole chapter has been extremely encouraging and thought-provoking. It begins and ends with "Therefore we do not lose heart." I've definitely wondered why I came out here just before my grandparents got sick and when I was involved in such a great church. This chapter says, "We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." It's strangely comforting to know that. It's easy when things go wrong to wonder "What is going on? Did I just screw up somehow?" No, this is part of life. Death is also at work in me. But the best part is why this is happening: "...so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." I've prayed to be a witness to people here, but I never thought that feeling like this could be a part of it. But it is. I've also been thinking about what it means to fix my eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. I used to think about solely in the context of heaven. But I've started to think about it in the context of people. What is seen is immaturity, moodiness, a complaining spirit, self-centeredness and uncaring. But what is unseen is their soul, their precious hearts that need healing and restoration and that Jesus thought were worth laying down His life for.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

1 comment:

Kim said...

Yea for answered prayer! Good to hear from you again. Hopefully things will calm down a little bit...It sounds like you are finding your groove as well. Go you!