I got a phone call from my college roommate Anna last night telling me that she is engaged! I met the guy when I visited her in Berkley last spring, and he is super nice and I think they are so well-suited for each other. I also heard this song and it reminded me of my EDGE Corps roommate, Katie, and a dance she taught me to it. So, this Melodic Monday goes out to Anna & Eric and Katie Clark!
don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry
C`mon, let's try
Am I crazy for wanting you?
Baby, do you think you could want me too ?
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do ?
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You beautiful soul, yeah.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
So, I haven't written a deep post in a really long time. Here goes an attempt at one. Lately I have bee feeling disconnected. came home a few weeks early to try to get some extra time with God and some counseling. The counselor only had three appointment times available. Two have already passed. The first one was kind of spent just getting her up to speed on where I was, and when I showed up for the second one, she didn't. I know there are crisis calls and all kinds of stuff that can happen in that job, but I was really disappointed and I still haven't heard from her. I'm sure it was just some kind of mis- or noncommunication, but time is so limited. I'm supposed to have my third one this Tues. I really hope there's some kind of breakthrough. Today at church when Tony asked people who have felt like a disconnected "branch" to come forward for prayer, I should have gone. I don't know why that's always so awkward for me, but I feel weird walking up in front of everyone, especially when it gets so jam-packed and Tony's calling out, "We need more people to pray! We need more people to pray!" It was so nice just to be at church, though.
I've felt like I'm in the middle of spiritual warfare lately. When I came home, I wanted a couple days to just rest and not think about anything, but then it was like I never started thinking again. I haven't really been praying or in the Word. I've just been in this static state. There have been a few moments, but all in all, it's kind of sucked. I feel like there is this blackness that keeps reaching for me. I keep having thoughts like "This winter will be so hard" and "You'll just fall away" and "You won't have any close friends" and "You'll just be so sad." The good thing is that, so far, they've all been identifiable as attacks and lies, but I haven't really fought. I've just turned off the thoughts and continued in my static state. When I decided to come home early, I felt like Jesus was showing me that there were areas of my heart that had been closed off in darkness (by me, out of self-protection), and He was going to begin the process of opening doors to those areas. But I've felt nothing but bad about myself since coming home. This summer was so draining, physically, mentally and spiritually, and I don't want to do anything. I don't want to make new relationships that I'll have to sever in December. I don't want to work when I'm going to jump right back into the insanely busy holiday season at the ranch. And I desperately don't want to leave spiritual feeding and fellowship.
This blog has been so rambly. I don't think I really know what I'm trying to say. But I would love prayers.
I've felt like I'm in the middle of spiritual warfare lately. When I came home, I wanted a couple days to just rest and not think about anything, but then it was like I never started thinking again. I haven't really been praying or in the Word. I've just been in this static state. There have been a few moments, but all in all, it's kind of sucked. I feel like there is this blackness that keeps reaching for me. I keep having thoughts like "This winter will be so hard" and "You'll just fall away" and "You won't have any close friends" and "You'll just be so sad." The good thing is that, so far, they've all been identifiable as attacks and lies, but I haven't really fought. I've just turned off the thoughts and continued in my static state. When I decided to come home early, I felt like Jesus was showing me that there were areas of my heart that had been closed off in darkness (by me, out of self-protection), and He was going to begin the process of opening doors to those areas. But I've felt nothing but bad about myself since coming home. This summer was so draining, physically, mentally and spiritually, and I don't want to do anything. I don't want to make new relationships that I'll have to sever in December. I don't want to work when I'm going to jump right back into the insanely busy holiday season at the ranch. And I desperately don't want to leave spiritual feeding and fellowship.
This blog has been so rambly. I don't think I really know what I'm trying to say. But I would love prayers.
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