The most exciting part of my day by far--the Yenerichs having a little baby girl!! I am so happy for them. I really wanted it to be a girl! Noah gets to be a big brother to her...how cool!!
I met Jonell and Sheena for tiny group tonight. Very fun to see them again, and to see Frank and Sheena's new house! I had a really bad headache, though, so I didn't get into the conversation much. I took some Advil earlier so I kept waiting for it to kick in, but I had to take another one afterwards. It is still not gone completely. I think I am going to drink some tea and go to bed soon.
I feel like I'm in a weird place in life right now. I'm not fully invested in Colorado, and since I have such a short time here, and I'm leaving again, I don't feel like I've caught up from the time I missed and I don't have time to become fully invested again. It's a little confusing. I don't like transient existence. I'm all for change and travelling, but I'm realizing how important it is to me to have a home base anchoring me down during all of it. I don't know where that is right now, or if I can really have it right now. Lately I've been seriously longing for marriage and babies--probably prompted by people in circumstances around me. It's always been a longing for me, and sometimes I'm perfectly content to be single, but right now I just want to settle down and start living. 25 is staring around the corner. I don't want to think about that.
Okay, tea time...
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2 comments:
I couldn't help but think of this reference after reading your post, (and I apologize in advance if my comment ends up being longer than the post itself. That's just not cool!)
I recently finished a book by CS Lewis called "The Pilgrim's Regress"...not the easiest of reads, but still one of the best books I've encountered this semester. Check it out.
One of my favourite parts is the very end (where Lewis gets all poetic...) Through one of his characters, he emphasizes our inherently human love of "particular" things and locations. We are tied to specific places and specific people, and we can't help it. Unlike the angels, who do not relate and respond to the temporal world in the same way, we live and thrive in relationship with our surroundings, (just as Jesus did, when He was here!)
We need real, rooted particularity-- not just overarching/Divine universality-- in our lives, and we were designed to want it. We yearn for love, for others, for homes, for God. Historically, people have tried to downplay human love for material existence here on earth and elevate love for a "higher reality" instead. This stark dichotomy has its merit, as it reminds us that this world is only temporary, but it also seems to lead us into a "generalized" love...a cold, over-rational "regard" for the things and people around us...and I think that's wrong. I don't think God simply "regards" His Creation. He truly loves its particularities. I think we're called to do the same here on earth-- we should look forward to the life beyond this one, of course...but we must love this place and these people deeply as well.
It sounds like you're right on track with your genuine appreciation of/yearning for a home base, a settled existence, etc. I'm glad it's so important to you, and it inspires me to develop the same kind of ties with my surroundings. You might like this last little bit from "Pilgrim's Regress"...I certainly did!
Ugh. This is already too long...maybe I'll email you the poem instead of monopolizing your comment space... :)
25 is not very old. you are so young! and able to have adventures! :-)
but i feel, sometimes, like i'm not invested in madison, either. it's like all i have here is a job. but i'm going to change that. i'm going to make this city my own! :-)
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